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hypnagogia

by sonhos tomam conta

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

  • Limited Edition "Gengar Purple" Translucent Cassette Tape
    Cassette + Digital Album

    EU Customers: PURCHASE EUROPEAN VARIANT HERE. CHEAPER PRICE + FASTER SHIPPING!

    MADE BY OUR GOOD FRIENDS AT HUNK OF PLASTIC! LINK BELOW!! :)

    rb.gy/vn8zh9

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Heyo, we're back with a nice n spiffy redesign of the label logo, and some mint looking tapes.

    These babies are gonna be pro dubbed with some real nice sticker labels of the Saõ Paulo skyline. A and B sides are labeled. Death to blank tapes. Slight price increase due to higher production costs, but only $1.

    Shipping costs have been increased to reflect real costs. If european users would like the NA variant over the EU, they are still able to purchase it. However, due to the unforeseen challenge of king shipping times that are out of my control, we strongly suggest purchasing the EU varaint for cheaper price + faster shipping :)


    Heres some of the specs:
    - High-gloss cardstock
    - sick translucent purple shell
    - high-res sticker labels w/ corresponding sides
    - Professionally Duplicated
    - Numbered /30
    - Really awesome tunes by the supremely talented sonhos tomam conta

    Includes unlimited streaming of hypnagogia via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more

    Sold Out

  • Limited Edition "Gengar Splatter" Vinyl LP
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Howdy y'all, really excited to finally give this album its much deserved vinyl pressing!

    Heres the deets:

    - 1xLP pressed on a really cool purple/black splatter vinyl record
    - Double sided insert containing English and Portuguese lyrics
    - Antistatic sleeves to keep those grooves looking minty
    - Strictly limited to 250 copies worldwide
    - A gorgeous high quality physical copy of a instant shoegaze/blackgaze/emogaze classic
    - Comes with a complementary Longinus sticker pack + button
    - Limited strictly to 2 per person! Orders with more than 2 will be reduced.

    Please allow a ~10-12 month manufacturing window due to the entire supply chain for the vinyl industry more or less collapsing (sorry).

    ***Vinyl record colorway may be different to the mockup (but not that much, im going to coordinate it to make it as similar as possible to the vision we laid out)***

    Includes unlimited streaming of hypnagogia via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more

    Sold Out

  • Hypnagogia TEST PRESSING
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    test pressing of hypnagogia, idk what else there is to say tbh

    Includes unlimited streaming of hypnagogia via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
there is so much pain in this world and it's all mine, i can feel for everyone i think my birth was a punishment if i could, i wouldn't consent i've learned not to expect anything more than this life i need to shatter my hopes and dreams, i can't let them take over again cause when i fail, i won't be surprised i accept my misery, but i won't fall sober numb me numb me, please keep me sedated the dose of my medicine will never stop to increase all this pain will never go away numb me, please keep me sedated
2.
when did the city lights got so bright? the night ether used to feel so warm now i'm blinded by the weight of the sky that keeps falling on my feet every dawn please wake me from this dream i can't go on another night but it's so hard to keep my mind clean my thoughts crumble in pain i can't stand being alone anymore please let me fill my void it gets bigger every day it may occupy all of me so when tomorrow come look for me somewhere else num lugar quente eu vou me enterrar será que um dia isso vai passar? o tempo corre e tudo só piora não quero viver assim pra sempre não quero ter que viver por hoje eu só queria me anestesiar pra nunca mais sentir meu pescoço pressionar meu corpo contra as memórias de um futuro que nunca vou encontrar (------ in a warm place i will bury myself i wonder if someday it'll go away time runs by and everything just gets worse i don't wanna live like this forever i don't wanna live like this for today i just wanted to numb myself to never again feel my neck pressure my body against the memories of a future that i will never find -------) i walk on the street and my feet are covered in blood my legs are still shaking, i forgot i just cut them i won't make it there, but i never thought i'd live much time it still hurts too see the tears falling on my corpse maybe i'm still alive i could'nt tell if so my life is lucid dream that got too numb i want to forget everything i became and reborn in the body of a different girl maybe i'll turn into everything i was promised to be but if not, i never had such a high life expectancy
3.
aurora 05:37
a manhã se renova com os pés gelados o sol pesa sobre meus olhos dilatados a carne tão fraca cede ao peso da rotina mais uma vez, cumpro minha sina quero achar no caminho um retrato de dias leves desocupados pelo tormento quando a chuva ainda caia fraca e minha pele não estava tão marcada todas as tentativas de dar sentido à minha vida vazia dão errado será que afinal existe um propósito em querer me matar sempre que acordo? que desperdício foi acordar preferia continuar a sonhar com a água inundando minha cabeça me afogando pra nunca mais voltar pela janela a chuva se reflete e posso olhar pro mundo com outras lentes me reabsorvendo dentro do meu corpo eu já não sei se posso ver com meus olhos ----- the morning is renewed with cold feet the sun weighs over my dilated eyes my flesh, so weak, gives in to the weight of the routine once again, i fulfill my fate i want to find in the way a portrait of light days unoccupied by the torment when the rain was still falling light and my skin wasn't so marked every attempt of giving meaning to my empty life goes wrong i wonder if there is a purpose in wanting to kill myself every time i wake up what a waste it was to wake up i'd rather keep on dreaming with the water flooding my head sinking me to never come back again through the window the rain is reflected and i can see the world through other lens reabsorbing myself into my own body i don't know if i can still see through my eyes
4.
there's no beauty in death phil was right, i don't wanna learn anything there's no poetry in pain i just want this to be over i just want to escape from this life i don't have anything else to say
5.
não existe sentido em continuar vivo nem na minha morte que vai ser em vão nossa vida miserável não merece um fim trágico, mas um apodrecimento pra cair no esquecimento não vejo mais o dia nem o sol nascer às 6 da manhã meu corpo pede pra cair eu to presa no tempo em que o vazio preenche meu peito e queima tão forte que não consigo me mexer ó sol, espere por mim que em breve eu vou te ver ó sol, espere por mim que em breve eu vou te reencontrar ------ there's no meaning in keeping on alive neither in my death that will be in vain our miserable lives don't deserve a tragic end but to rot to fade into oblivion i don't see the day anymore neither the sun rising at 6 a.m. my body asks to fall i'm stuck at the time when the emptiness fills my chest and burns so hard that i can't move anymore oh sun, wait for me soon, i will see you again oh sun, wait for me soon, i will find you again
6.
my mother used to call me to take a walk around the town but i would'nt (go) guess i was too scared of all the things that could've hurt me the city lights were so bright and she couldn't make feel safe anymore i wonder what happened maybe i wasn't able to feel safe in the first place but it wasn't always like that oh how we did split up like that? i guess i know but i want to forget if you could go back in time would you be the same? would be the best you could or was it the best already? please let me forget i want to reborn away from here i want to reborn in the time where i could see the stars and listen to souvlaki on a road trip maybe it wasn't that good but i need something to remember so i can have some hope that things could get better some frames still cross my mind glimpses of joy that could keep me sane it's hard to get to them but i guess it has to be this way drums fall in a maze it's so loud i can't hear a thing a firefly lands on my shoulder to keep me company and the see the skies blowing on my mind if i died right at that moment it would be perfectly fine
7.
vento que paira sobre mim cura as feridas que eu abri lava minha carne e me liberta daqui me leva pra longe da cidade que cresci pertencimento é uma ilusão meu corpo é somente uma prisão ------ wind that hangs over me heals the wounds that i've opened wash my flesh and free me from here take me away from the city that i grew up belonging is just an illusion my body is nothing but a prison

about

---- Limited Edition Digipack CD available through Weary Bird and Pest Productions: pestproductions.bandcamp.com/album/hypnagogia ----


This album is about me coming to the realization that I don't have many years left in my life. No matter how much time passes by, the thought of suicide is as clear as the first time it ran by me when I was 14. I've been doing therapy every week, I've tried more than 20 different types of medicine, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, anti psychotics and anxiolytics; none of them seem to work for me. Maybe they do, but I'm so broken inside that nothing will ever be good enough.

Even if things start to get better and I think that maybe there is a chance for me, It's just a preparation for a bigger fall into the nothingness that makes me who I am. Everyday I have to deal with my bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and social anxiety: they all cripple and incapacitate me. Oftentimes I struggle to even breathe or be a functional human being. I'm tired of cutting every part of the body that I hate, I'm tired of numbing myself with alcohol and drugs, I'm tired of taking 2 mg of xanax every time I can't stand being awake anymore.

Every day I wake up longing for the time when I sleep, when all of this pain goes away, to retreat to my dreams that aren't shattered yet.

I've been experiencing a lot of hypnagogic hallucinations lately, they appear as I lay down with my eyes closed trying to force myself to sleep.

This is where this album stands; an attempt to recreate the colors and atmosphere of the last state of consciousness that I could take.

Some animes like Welcome to the NHK and Serial Experiments Lain and some movies like Chungking Express, Paprika and Mulholland Drive were crucial in helping me create the dream-like, (almost) surreal imagery of this album. The music that I listen to and the music that I make are the last things that give a sense of meaning to my meaningless life, the last things keeping me from ending it all today.

To all of you who feel the same, I hope this album helps to get through at least one more day.

credits

released July 2, 2021

fotografia e arte de capa/ photography and cover art by fabiana lopez twitter.com/fafhi www.instagram.com/voidandnull/

modelo/ model: marcela privacidade twitter.com/princesa_exe

special thanks to Matt Cruz from Longinus Recordings for all the huge support he's been giving to me over the last months, helping me with every step of this release

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sonhos tomam conta São Paulo, Brazil

painting dreamscapes

ela dela (she/ they)

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